LATE NIGHT RAMBLINGS

For many years it feels like I have struggled with social anxiety on and off to some degree. Sure, there have been many times that have been awesome being with friends, but there have been a lot of times that have been anything but. The feeling of wanting to socialise and be around others but also wanting to be alone, or not wanting to 'intrude' in a social situation with a group of friends when no one has actually invited me along creating that feeling of unease and being unwelcome. I rarely have the confidence to just join in social situations that no one has actually invited me to even if it is friends I have all known for a while, thus I often feel so isolated from everyone I know.

I know I am not the easiest friend to have and be around, often during conversation not really knowing what to say or discuss potentially making others think I'm just not interested and don't care when in actual fact it's the complete opposite. I am very much interested in having conversations with friends and sometimes I care too much because lately a few people who I considered friends have simply turned their backs on me and now hate me for unknown reasons. If I am talking to you and trying to keep a conversation going, albeit poorly, and my responses sometimes come across as short and blunt, I do not intend to be rude or show disinterest, I simply do not know what to say next. My social skills are abysmal at times and I feel this has created distance between myself and those I care about to the point that now I feel like I only really have 2 close friends, so it's usually a struggle trying to ever organise a time to hang out and do something. 

I am sorry for often being a shit friend, being moody and angry, silent during chats, not putting in enough effort to catch up from time to time. I just don't know how to overcome this constant feeling of one minute wanting to catch up with friends and then the next wanting nothing more than to lie in bed alone with a beer.

Awaken

Destroy the world
Awaken the masses
To be alive is to be dead
To be dead is to be alive
Life nonexistent as we know it
Existing within our own minds in a world of self belief
Believing we are alive
With feelings of constant pain and anguish we are afflicted with

Our lives are meaningless
Existence as we know it irrelevant
Controlled by the hands that feed
Yet blindly we feed and blindly we follow
Never questioning or awakening
To end is to begin, a path never taken

Why must we continue our lives through misery and anguish
Of emotions that are no more real than the Gods we worship
Yet continue to be susceptible to and fall victim to
Yearning for those who care nothing for our being
As oblivious to the realities beyond the world as we are
Emotions consistently overtake our minds
The distant touch yet disconnect from those we care for

Pessimism or nihilism
Yet simply realism
Seeing the world in a new light
An illusion of never ending servitude
Yet what is will soon not be
And all that is born will die
Yearning for love in a world of despair
Love that shall never be
And shall never last

ALL HAIL THE OBELISK

This of course refers to none other than Hybrid Nightmares, a band who are yet to release a debut album but are already surpassing many other Melbourne metal bands who have released one, two or even more full lengths. But they have existed for many eons in our galaxy and have produced 5 EPs thus far, all of which have shown a huge growth over the course of time in their musicianship all around and as such have built up quite the reputation, and with The Ages releases this year (three of four already available for the faithful servants of The Obelisk) they are showing many of their fellow comrades in the local metal scene how things are done.

To go on about the high quality of their studio work is one thing, but the real brutality and power is when they play live with the energy from both on stage and the fans, with the mosh pits being quite intense, far more so than many other locals.

This is a band that has evolved and matured greatly over the years, from the early days of 2008 playing at small venues like Daisy's in Ringwood and EV's in Croydon and in the infamous Battle of The Bands to becoming a strong headlining force in venues such as The Evelyn, The Tote, Cherry Bar, etc and pulling crowds in excess of 200.

While that may not be huge considering other bands playing to 500+ it's more about quality than quantity when it comes to Hybrid Nightmares, and if you are yet to experience the power of The Obelisk then you need to do yourself a favour and make it to a show, and listen to the The First, Second and Third Ages available on their Bandcamp.

They are renowned for their witty humour at their live shows mainly brought to you by their frontman Loki, with the odd banter back and forth from the crowd, which shows the connection the band has with it's fans who are extremely loyal as I have been seeing the same faces for years at their shows. And with the upcoming release of The Fourth Age in the coming months, and eventually a debut album sometime in the future, there is only bigger things lying ahead for this extreme metal quintet.

All hail the Obelisk.

UNITY

NOT THE SAME, BUT EQUAL.

On Wednesday night I went and saw this documentary, written and directed by Shaun Monson who did Earthlings which is still the most powerful 95 minutes I have ever seen, so needless to say I had considerable expectations going into this one, and I am glad to say I was not disappointed.

Shaun has a knack of getting under the viewer's skin and making them actually think about what is being shown to them, and to give their full attention all the way through. He shows the truths of many things that people try to either ignore or keep hidden, the dark truths we all really know exist, but just don't think about. However it's not simply Earthlings Pt. 2, in fact there is only about 14 minutes of animal footage out of 98 in this documentary, yet it still portrays quite significantly our treatment of non-human animals. This documentary also covers the inability for people all across the globe from all ethnicities, cultures, religions, sexual orientations, genders, etc to be able to co-exist peacefully with one another and that, as Ben Kingsley states in the documentary, mankind has been at war for about 95% of recorded history. That's an astonishing figure. It's quite obvious that war is wrong as it goes against the very laws of nature creating death and destruction to not just humans, but also animals, the environment and the planet, but we continually accept it throughout generations and on and on the wheel turns obliterating everything under it. As stated in the film "the harmony of being is when we feel the suffering of every creature in our own hearts" and it explains that it is not until then that we are truly conscious of not just ourselves but the world around us and then and only then can we truly have peace.

Like Earthlings, it covers five chapters;  "Cosmic", "Mind", "Body", "Heart" and "Soul" and consists of 100 narrators consisting of actors, artists, athletes, authors, businessmen, entertainers, filmmakers, military personnel, and musicians.

I would highly recommend this to anyone and everyone. Not just pacifists, vegans or activists, but everyone. This is something that everyone needs to see as the message is so incredibly important for the survival of all life on Earth.

There are limited screenings in selected cinemas and you can find where and when it is showing near you through the official Unity website.

Until then, enjoy the trailer.

The Curse of Man

A recent discussion with a friend about various topics surrounding the faults of man such as materialism, narcissism, selfishness, etc has made me want to write this blog.

I'm not going to bother being grammatically correct here because tonight is not the time I have the effort to bother doing so, so if some of this does not make complete sense I apologise in advance. I will merely be typing what comes to mind.

I remember watching the first season of True Detective and like many others was blown away by Matthew McConaughey's character Rust Cohle and his total nihilistic attitude towards life. It has been one that I have had for a while, believing that humans are the ultimate parasite on this planet and while we think we are advancing as a species we are merely creating our ultimate demise, and the best thing to do for the remaining species and the environment, as well as the planet, is to simply become extinct, something that should have already happened but due to our extreme desperation to live forever we have surpassed our expiry date.

Which raises the question; throughout evolution did we really become too self-aware or is self-awareness a good thing that can drive people to become a better species?

Our consciousness causes many people a myriad of problems such as sentience, arrogance and self entitlement among many others. We as a species have evolved into selfish beings that focus solely on ourselves with little to no care for others, whether human or not. We destroy everything around us and plough through natural resources like we have an infinite amount, and that the Earth will continuously replenish what has been taken.

I quote Rust Cohle here; "Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself - we are creatures that should not exist by natural law..." We act in ways that go against the natural order such as constant destruction of the environment and creating military weapons to drop on other countries, killing millions. There is no other species on Earth that causes as much death and disease as we do yet somehow humans have the belief that we are the superior and most intelligent species when true intelligence and superior consciousness comes from knowing how to co-exist with nature, something we are rapidly moving away from, if we ever truly had that mindset.

Technology can largely be to blame as it has created a world of narcissism where people only care about themselves and believing the world revolves around them, and that no matter the harm and destruction they cause, as long as it benefits them the ramifications are irrelevant. Such as littering (not having to carry waste around and dumping it because someone else is paid to clean it up) and constantly consuming products sold in plastic wrapping without realising plastic never breaks down and has huge negative impacts on the environment and other species. Humans seriously lack empathy and compassion which proves yet again why we are not even remotely close to being considered an intelligent species, let alone a superior one. And then the mindset of there even being a superior species is absurd and laughable. Having the mindset of 'superior species' automatically spells trouble as it negates the important 'eco' mindset of living in harmony with the other species on this planet, equality not just between humans but between nature and other animals. That is when we can truly be at peace and evolve as a species to a higher level of consciousness and develop real intelligence.

The education system is also largely to blame as it teaches children from a young age what to think as opposed to how to think, stripping them of their imagination and empathy. Telling them what society considers as right and wrong, instead of allowing them to apply common sense. I believe questioning is far more important than answering, and philosophy is something that should be taught in every school. It is about asking questions, regardless of whether than question provides an answer or not, as it allows free thought that a vast majority of adults lose once they have been molded into a unquestioning drone that follows everyone else blindly believing the system is working.

Also another great fault is killing and consuming animals and animal products. First of all we need to realise that humans are in fact animals, yet it is considered morbid and wrong to kill another human and consume them, yet it is completely acceptable to butcher an animal that has no wish to die and consume it. Why should there be any difference? It's like people being outraged over the Chinese Yulin Dog Meat Festival (and rightfully so!) but yet having a steak for dinner that night. The killing of domesticated animals that we keep as pets is considered wrong because they are animals we are told is acceptable to love from a young age but there is no empathy or compassion towards cows, pigs, turkeys, chickens, sheep, etc. We are also the only species that continues to drink milk once we past infancy and we accept the idea of drinking milk from a cow as completely normal, but we don't drink our own mother's milk at 25 years old now do we? Because that's wrong, so we support the slaughtering of another species to continue consuming something we have no need to consume, because we are force fed incorrect information by the system telling us that it is the only reliable source of calcium, which is incorrect. There are many other high sources of calcium other than milk yet people blindly follow what society considers the norm, once again unable to think for themselves because they have been taught what to think.

Why I Hate The Western World

It is no secret whatsoever that the western world is moving more and more towards a society focused solely on narcissism, materialism and unnecessary victimisation.

The mentality of millions living in the western world has been deeply ingrained into many a minds and thus become difficult to change because it has become to believed to be the norm and that any way of life or mentality that opposes this system is unacceptable and considered as evil and an abomination. Yet this proves more and more how lost the western world is from reality and the truth.

The eastern world, particularly those suffering from extreme poverty, ironically, are those that experience the true realities of the world and glance a glimpse of some slight of normality despite the extreme inequality the western world has created despite it's promised equality and freedom it continues to spread throughout majority of the globe.

The major factor as to why this global situation of struggle and corruption has not reached further is put on not only the media but no doubt mass political corruption. Australia, being a western civilised country, has seen it's fair share of corruption under the Tony Abbott Government since the overwhelming, and embarrassing, victory to the Coalition in the Federal Election of 2014. Since then we have seen nothing short of lies, bullying tactics and outright discrimination that has made me ashamed to be Australian. This country is no longer one I want to call home.

Throughout the past couple of years, of which I have though about and read about Buddhism, I have seriously considered living in South-East Asia to experience a whole new way of life in countries such as Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma, Nepal, Sri Lanka, etc. Sure, there may be severely limited internet access to Facebook and other idiotic social media but that will be a good thing as it will give me a chance to connect to what is really important in life.

And who knows, maybe I will become a better person from it and decide I wish to stay.

It's Fucking Christmas.... Again!

It's that time of the year folks. The most ridiculous and overrated holiday of them all. No not Valentines Day, and not Easter neither.

Fucking Christmas. Again.

I absolutely hate Christmas and I'm going to explain why so everyone can hopefully get some sort of understanding into the idiocy of this day that warps the minds of millions or billions worldwide.

For one, everyone goes on about how it's supposed to be the 'season to be jolly' like the rest of the fucking year is meant to be spent being the pessimistic nihilist of the world, because society allows you this one day to escape from your daily grind of mundane and zombie-esque activity to spend time with your family, because clearly spending time with your family any other day of the year is forbidden and frowned upon so only do it on Christmas.

It's that time of the year where parents, who when they were children were told that Santa was a real person and that they had to behave for the year or else they wouldn't get any presents but awoke on Christmas day to find they actually had presents anyway thus unknowingly creating a materialistic mentality deep inside their psyche and believing that no matter how they behaved they'd receive what is "entitled" to them anyway, tell their children this same fucking lie over and over repeating the never ending cycle so when those kids grow up they pass it onto their children and so on and so on. How ridiculous and idiotic is this? Remind you of any other fairytale? One that people seem to want to carry on into adulthood?

And the concept of gift giving is probably the most ridiculous and vacuous part of this whole moronic tradition because the only good it serves is to create profit for large corporations that couldn't give a shit about the happiness and well being of the everyday citizen of the world. Let's take a look at Coca Cola for instance, their advertisements on television multiple tenfold during this time of the year with the portrayal that if you have a beverage of theirs or share it with someone else that it'll bring immense joy to your life despite the tremendous negative health issues it can create, and how highly addictive they have made it. And serving this to children, because their ads are clearly targeted towards the impressionable young minds of today, not only makes these children destined for a life of diabetes and a multitude of other health problems but also serves to fuel a corporation built on greed and destruction of ones well being for the sake of the dollar.

Yet let's all hold Christmas in a positive light and tell everyone to have a wondrous and joyous one because that's the social norm isn't it? No one these days ever thinks for themselves, they just follow the rest like the sheep that they have been told to be.

Christmas is by far the worst time of the year and it seems I am in the extreme minority that has this belief because every fucking year I am having to explain myself to everyone about why I can't wait for this pathetic excuse of a day to be over and done with.

This year it is even worse because I work in retail and have discovered a whole new low that people sink to. People spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars around Christmas time and complaining about it!!

Let's back up a second; people go out and WILLINGLY spend copious amounts of money during the Christmas period yet they openly complain about spending so much money when it was their choice to do so in the first place, yet it's like they're putting the blame on something other than their own actions and choices. And you know what that is? Social norms created by society for everyone to accept and abide by because that's what you have to do, isn't it?

People are a fucking joke these days. You DON'T have to go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money, you can teach your children not to become materialistic and that they should just behave themselves just to become decent human beings instead of just for the reward of some present at the end of the fucking year. And you may argue that it's a time of the year that the children look forward to and my rebuttal would be why can't they look forward to any other day of the year? Is it because your parenting is so shocking that you make every other day of the year just as mundane and dull as your working day in the office? Children are children, they are extremely imaginative, naive and they dream because the world hasn't told them what they can and can't be yet. So make everyday for them special and before you know it they won't care about materialistic items for Christmas even if their friend at school gets the new Playstation or Xbox, because your child or children will believe that the greater gift to something that can have a price tag placed on it is that they aren't dead yet.

Then there's the fact that when people feel the need to go out and spend huge amounts of money, that they do so right at the last minute. I can just imagine their thought process when they awake the morning before Christmas and think 'shit, it's Christmas eve, I have to go do all the Christmas shopping. Oh my where did the time go? I swear it was March yesterday!' Wake the fuck up and stop living in your dreamland of day to day cycles of repetitive tasks and pay attention to the world for fuck sake! Why don't people think outside waking up in the morning, going to work, going home and going to bed and repeating?

Christmas is a joke and I have no hope whatsoever that the world will ever wake up to itself and see it for what it really is; one big marketing ploy that everyone keeps falling for.

You all make me sick.